A parent’s guide to supporting children with SEND over Christmas
The festive season can be magical – but for many children with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND), it can also be overwhelming
Changes in routine, busy social gatherings, bright lights and new foods can all make this time of year challenging. However, with a little preparation and flexibility, it’s absolutely possible to create a calm, comfortable Christmas that you and your family can genuinely enjoy. Here are some practical ways to help your family make this time of year joyful – in your own way.
Keep routines as predictable as possible
Children with SEND often find comfort in routine and predictability. While Christmas brings excitement, it also brings change – different foods, decorations, visitors and noise. A steady rhythm helps reduce anxiety and gives children a sense of control when everything else feels different.
Try:
- Keeping regular bedtimes and mealtimes as consistent as possible.
- Using a visual timetable or calendar to show what’s happening each day.
- Giving plenty of notice if plans change and explaining what to expect.
- Building in ‘normal’ days between busy ones to help your child reset.
Prepare for changes and surprises
Preparation helps ease uncertainty. Talk with your child about what the festive period might look like – from the decorations going up to opening presents or visiting family. For many children with SEND, knowing what’s coming makes the whole day feel calmer and more enjoyable.
You could:
- Look at photos or videos from previous years to remind them what to expect.
- Create a social story that explains key events, like ‘opening presents’ or ‘having Christmas lunch.’
- Practise small things in advance – such as pulling crackers, hearing music or unwrapping gifts.
- Let them know it’s always okay to take a break or step away if they need to.
Make your home a safe space
Decorations and lights can be exciting, but they can also be overstimulating. Bright colours, flashing lights, and strong smells can quickly become overwhelming. A peaceful spot to recharge can make a huge difference during a busy season.
Consider:
- Involving your child in decorating, so they feel part of the process and more in control.
- Choosing gentler lighting or avoiding flashing fairy lights and scented candles.
- Keeping some areas of the house calm and uncluttered.
- Setting up a quiet space with favourite toys, headphones and blankets where your child can retreat when things get too much.
Manage food sensitivities and mealtime stress
Festive food often looks and smells different – and that can be tricky for children who prefer familiar tastes and textures or have dietary restrictions. A relaxed approach to food helps make mealtimes more enjoyable for everyone.
Tips:
- Always offer favourite familiar foods alongside festive ones.
- Let your child know they don’t have to try everything on the table.
- If you’re visiting family, share your child’s preferences or allergies in advance to avoid pressure.
- Keep snacks or comfort foods handy, especially during longer events.
Handle gifts and surprises gently
While some children love surprises, others can find them stressful or confusing. Remember that it’s not about the surprise, it’s about the joy of giving and receiving in a way that feels comfortable and safe.
Try:
- Talking with your child about what gifts they may receive.
- Avoiding excessive wrapping or loud toys if they cause distress.
- Letting them open presents slowly, one at a time, with breaks in between.
- Offering unwrapped gifts or clear gift bags if unwrapping feels difficult.
Prepare family and friends
Not everyone will instinctively understand your child’s needs – but a bit of preparation can go a long way. Setting expectations early helps everyone relax and enjoy time together.
You could:
- Briefly explain what helps your child feel comfortable (for example, “He might not want hugs,” or “She wears ear defenders when it’s loud”).
- Ask visitors to keep noise levels low or avoid crowding your child.
- Bring comfort items, communication tools or fidgets when visiting others.
- Plan an exit strategy, like taking short breaks or having a quiet room to go to.
Prioritise calm over perfection
The festive period doesn’t have to look like the films or the adverts. It’s easy to feel pressure to do everything – but sometimes less really is more. Connection matters more than perfection.
Try:
- Choosing one or two meaningful activities instead of overloading the calendar.
- Leaving quiet days between busy events.
- Creating your own traditions, like a family movie afternoon or a walk in nature.
- Saying no when things feel too much – and remembering that a calm Christmas is a happy one.
Look after yourself too
Supporting a child with SEND through the festive season can be tiring – emotionally and physically. Don’t forget that your wellbeing matters too. When you look after yourself, it’s easier to support your child with patience and calm.
Remember:
- Take breaks where you can and accept help when it’s offered.
- Connect with other parents who understand what you’re going through.
- Be kind to yourself – you’re doing your best, and that’s more than enough.
- If things feel overwhelming, reach out to local SEND services or support groups.
Helpful resources
If you’d like more advice or community support, you might find these resources useful.
